Sometimes I miss my quiet little life. I kept to myself at home. Didn't have many friends to hang out with. Never went out. Then I joined a gym....life has taken a drastic turn since that one little decision all those years ago. I joined. I got a job there. I discovered a dance fitness class there. I decided to teach the dance fitness class. I made tons of wonderful friends. And BOOM! I suddenly have a life!! It's the greatest thing!!
But my kids are growing (TOO FAST) and we are increasingly busier and busier every year. I have one graduating high school this year (OMG!!!) Sometimes I just want to crumble into a pile and bawl my eyes out. My babies are getting older. Wow. It's just going too fast. I have taken on little jobs so the term "stay at home" mom doesn't really apply. Plus there have been other turns that life has taken, (we had a scare with my mom and moved her into an assisted living facility), parties to plan, etc.
Of course I face the same old struggles. I went to have my metabolism tested yesterday. As I figured, my metabolism is high, REALLY high. And despite that AND the fact that I workout as hard as I do every week, I still can't seem to shake this extra fat that I have gained. And what's even more frustrating is that I seem to have even GAINED MORE since I last had my body fat tested. What. The. Hell!!!! And it's only going to get worse as I age. Gone are the days that I can eat like a 300 pound truck driver, I guess.
Uber frustrated and wanting to quit, I had a nice talk with the lady who tested me. She was very real. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Charlotte, if you want to change your body, you have to change how you eat." And ultimately, I always knew this. It doesn't matter how hard you work in the gym. If you are "cheating" too often on your diet (guilty), if you are eating too much (guilty), and if you drink too much wine (guilty), you will never see the progress you are working your ass off to achieve. What kind of crazy person pushes themselves to near death at the gym and then goes home and eats like the world is going to end tomorrow?? Me, apparently.
Done. I'm SO DONE with it. I am absolutely NOT giving up on my goals. It's just not in me. So, the only other option, besides continuing on this insanity trip I've been on, is to change what I've always known deep down needed to change. I just needed someone to look me in the eyes and tell me that is the ONLY way. She said I have very little wiggle room and I will need to be very strict and very careful for about 2 months. But it will happen. And I am going to do what I need to do. No more hamster wheel.
I started a meticulous food diary yesterday and my calorie goal for each day is 1500 - with a third coming from carbs, a third from fat and a third from protein. I know this will be a challenge but I'm up for it. Motivation is high right now and I feel ready to dig deep. I've done the 30 days of no alcohol before, I know I can do it again. Wish me luck!
It's a journey. I'll stay accountable. I will. I have you kind friends to make sure I stick to it. I probably won't get to blog about my progress as often as I'd like, but I will TRY, honestly I will, to post some updates more often.
No comments:
Post a Comment